Couple mode

Comparison

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Anne
Stian
The profiles as shapesOCEAN
Similarity87%87% alike across the five traits
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https://bigfive-test.com/compare/Anne-58a7230da835c400c8b38e87_Stian-58abe72b6990ff009f5814f4
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You two as a couple

What your personalities can mean for Anne and Stian day to day: what you have going for you, where you differ, and what is worth talking about. A surprising fact first: couples tend to be alike in values and attitudes, but most are hardly more alike in personality than two random people. Being different is the norm, not a problem.

What you have going for you

You share levels that research links with happier relationships. These traits matter beyond the relationship too: in a large review, low neuroticism, high agreeableness and high conscientiousness predicted a lower risk of divorce about as strongly as socioeconomic status – income and education – did.

  • Both highAgreeableness

    You are both warm, cooperative and willing to give way. High agreeableness in both partners is one of the most consistent findings in couples research. It makes it easier to forgive, to see the other's side and to end disagreements well.

Where you differ

Differences are normal and can complement each other, but they often show up in the same everyday situations. Here is what research and experience say to look out for, with questions to talk about.

  1. CConscientiousnessSomewhat different · 21 points
    Anne 64Stian 85

    Stian likes order, plans and getting things done, while Anne is more flexible and spontaneous. This often shows up in housework, money, punctuality and planning: what counts as tidy, when a bill is paid, and how far ahead a holiday is booked. It is not a warning sign in itself: in a 12-year study of long marriages, midlife couples who were alike in conscientiousness grew less satisfied over time than couples who were different.

    Biggest differences: Dutifulness (Stian +31), Self-Discipline (Stian +25)

    What you can give each other

    Stian can make sure things get done, and Anne can help Stian relax, improvise and enjoy the moment when plans change.

Questions for an evening together

Take one question at a time and let both answer. There are no right answers – the point is to understand each other a little better.

CConscientiousness

What does 'tidy enough' mean for each of you?

1 of 3
What personality can and cannot tell you

Personality explains only a small part of how happy couples are. In a study of more than 11,000 couples, what happens in the relationship itself – feeling that your partner is committed, appreciation, intimacy and how you handle conflict – mattered far more than personality or other individual traits. In the largest studies, couples who are alike are not happier on average than couples who are different. And in existing relationships, feeling that you are alike goes together with liking each other, while actually being alike does not. Understanding each other matters more than matching – that is what the questions are for.

For couplesSee your relationship from both sides.

Pair Perspective is our relationship test. Answer 57 questions separately, then explore the strengths you share and the differences worth talking about.

Try Pair Perspective Opens on pairperspective.com
Research behind couple mode
  • Bono, J. E., Boles, T. L., Judge, T. A., & Lauver, K. J. (2002). The role of personality in task and relationship conflict. Journal of Personality, 70(3), 311–344. doi.org/10.1111/1467-6494.05007
  • Dyrenforth, P. S., Kashy, D. A., Donnellan, M. B., & Lucas, R. E. (2010). Predicting relationship and life satisfaction from personality in nationally representative samples from three countries. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99(4), 690–702. doi.org/10.1037/a0020385
  • Joel, S., et al. (2020). Machine learning uncovers the most robust self-report predictors of relationship quality across 43 longitudinal couples studies. PNAS, 117(32), 19061–19071. doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1917036117
  • Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1995). The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability. Psychological Bulletin, 118(1), 3–34. doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.118.1.3
  • Luo, S., & Klohnen, E. C. (2005). Assortative mating and marital quality in newlyweds: A couple-centered approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88(2), 304–326. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.88.2.304
  • Malouff, J. M., et al. (2010). The Five-Factor Model of personality and relationship satisfaction of intimate partners: A meta-analysis. Journal of Research in Personality, 44(1), 124–127. doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2009.09.004
  • Markey, P. M., & Markey, C. N. (2007). Romantic ideals, romantic obtainment, and relationship experiences: The complementarity of interpersonal traits among romantic partners. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24(4), 517–533. doi.org/10.1177/0265407507079241
  • Montoya, R. M., Horton, R. S., & Kirchner, J. (2008). Is actual similarity necessary for attraction? A meta-analysis of actual and perceived similarity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25(6), 889–922. doi.org/10.1177/0265407508096700
  • Roberts, B. W., Kuncel, N. R., Shiner, R., Caspi, A., & Goldberg, L. R. (2007). The power of personality: The comparative validity of personality traits, socioeconomic status, and cognitive ability for predicting important life outcomes. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2(4), 313–345. doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6916.2007.00047.x
  • Shiota, M. N., & Levenson, R. W. (2007). Birds of a feather don't always fly farthest: Similarity in Big Five personality predicts more negative marital satisfaction trajectories in long-term marriages. Psychology and Aging, 22(4), 666–675. doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.22.4.666
  • Weidmann, R., Purol, M. F., Alabdullah, A., Ryan, S. M., Wright, E. G., Oh, J., & Chopik, W. J. (2023). Trait and facet personality similarity and relationship and life satisfaction in romantic couples. Journal of Research in Personality, 104, 104378. doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2023.104378
  • Weidmann, R., Schönbrodt, F. D., Ledermann, T., & Grob, A. (2017). Concurrent and longitudinal dyadic polynomial regression analyses of Big Five traits and relationship satisfaction: Does similarity matter? Journal of Research in Personality, 70, 6–15. doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2017.04.003

Trait by trait

The bars show both profiles on each trait. The closer the bars, the more alike you are.

  1. OOpenness To Experience15 points apart
    Anne63%
    Stian48%
  2. CConscientiousness21 points apart
    Anne64%
    Stian85%
  3. EExtraversion10 points apart
    Anne57%
    Stian67%
  4. AAgreeablenessVery similar
    Anne77%
    Stian74%
  5. NNeuroticism15 points apart
    Anne47%
    Stian32%
Biggest differenceConscientiousness

Anne scores high and Stian scores high on conscientiousness. This is where you draw energy and thrive in different ways, and a good place to start the conversation.

Most alikeAgreeableness

On agreeableness you are almost identical. What you share here is often easy to take for granted.

O

Openness To Experience

Anne 63%AverageStian 48%Average

Openness to Experience describes a dimension of cognitive style that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people.

Facets

  • Anne
  • Stian
  1. Imagination
    Anne13 of 20
    Stian10 of 20
  2. Artistic Interests
    Anne13 of 20
    Stian14 of 20
  3. Emotionality
    Anne18 of 20
    Stian12 of 20
  4. Adventurousness
    Anne12 of 20
    Stian11 of 20
  5. Intellect
    Anne13 of 20
    Stian13 of 20
  6. Liberalism
    Anne15 of 20
    Stian10 of 20
C

Conscientiousness

Anne 64%HighStian 85%High

Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses.

Facets

  • Anne
  • Stian
  1. Self-Efficacy
    Anne12 of 20
    Stian17 of 20
  2. Orderliness
    Anne17 of 20
    Stian16 of 20
  3. Dutifulness
    Anne15 of 20
    Stian20 of 20
  4. Achievement-Striving
    Anne15 of 20
    Stian19 of 20
  5. Self-Discipline
    Anne12 of 20
    Stian16 of 20
  6. Cautiousness
    Anne14 of 20
    Stian18 of 20
E

Extraversion

Anne 57%AverageStian 67%High

Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world.

Facets

  • Anne
  • Stian
  1. Friendliness
    Anne19 of 20
    Stian16 of 20
  2. Gregariousness
    Anne14 of 20
    Stian15 of 20
  3. Assertiveness
    Anne12 of 20
    Stian17 of 20
  4. Activity Level
    Anne11 of 20
    Stian14 of 20
  5. Excitement-Seeking
    Anne11 of 20
    Stian11 of 20
  6. Cheerfulness
    Anne12 of 20
    Stian15 of 20
A

Agreeableness

Anne 77%HighStian 74%High

Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others.

Facets

  • Anne
  • Stian
  1. Trust
    Anne12 of 20
    Stian11 of 20
  2. Morality
    Anne18 of 20
    Stian19 of 20
  3. Altruism
    Anne18 of 20
    Stian18 of 20
  4. Cooperation
    Anne15 of 20
    Stian16 of 20
  5. Modesty
    Anne18 of 20
    Stian15 of 20
  6. Sympathy
    Anne17 of 20
    Stian16 of 20
N

Neuroticism

Anne 47%AverageStian 32%Low

Neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative feelings.

Facets

  • Anne
  • Stian
  1. Anxiety
    Anne9 of 20
    Stian8 of 20
  2. Anger
    Anne15 of 20
    Stian14 of 20
  3. Depression
    Anne18 of 25
    Stian8 of 25
  4. Self-Consciousness
    Anne7 of 15
    Stian8 of 15
  5. Immoderation
    Anne12 of 20
    Stian10 of 20
  6. Vulnerability
    Anne8 of 20
    Stian7 of 20